Time of One’s Own
In 1929, Virginia Woolf published her essay A Room of One’s Own, in which she argues that for women to write, to exercise their creativity, they need a room of their own and financial support. For today’s women, a room of one’s own may seem like a luxury; what would really be needed is TIME of one’s own. So many of us are moving non-stop – working outside the home; working inside the home; taking care of families, both the younger generation and the older; and still doing so much of the other unpaid work on which our society depends through volunteering. Even when retirement removes outside work and the younger generation becomes grandchildren rather than children, time remains a precious commodity. Part of the benefit then of Creative Play™ is allocating just a little bit of time each day for one’s creativity, carving out some time of one’s own to allow creativity to flourish. You may not have a room of your own, but time of your own is a necessity and no home renovations are required to get it.
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The idea behind the project, which fits so perfectly with Creative Play, is to do a creative project every day for 100 days. I’ve been itching to do some improv piecing, to just sit down each day and do a little sewing without a plan, so that’s what I have decided to do for my project. Here’s the first one:
It’s not too late to join in!
Last month, I wrote about how Creative Play™ can be helpful in finding your voice as an artist. What I didn’t discuss was why you would want to do that. I always hear so much talk about “finding your voice” and it used to really confuse me. I mean, if I created it, wasn’t it already in my voice? And, did it really make any difference if my work was particularly distinctive? Now that I am farther along in my journey, I have a better understanding.
For me, finding my voice was more about believing that I had something to say that was worth sharing than about creating work in signature colors. It was more about giving myself permission to speak than having a distinctive style. I think that is what confused me so much about “finding my voice.” I didn’t have to find anything. My voice didn’t need to be created. I just needed to be willing to speak through my art and that is scary.
Getting comfortable with my voice is a journey that I am still definitely on, but I took the leap (and even created a piece of art that reflects that experience.)
Now that I have taken that leap, I am creating art that is personal and meaningful. I feel like I am creating art from my soul and the experience of making it is so much more powerful than what I was doing before. I feel like Dorothy stepping into Oz and it’s exhilarating.
November is apparently “Gratitude Month.” I don’t remember when it was officially created, but I have seen announcements of that popping up more frequently over the last few years. With Thanksgiving occurring in a few weeks, “Gratitude Month” does make sense. So, I want to take the time to say that I am grateful to all of you. Thank you all for your support over the last year and a half as I went on my personal journey into my creativity and officially launched Creative Play™.
I have often felt so very alone in my journey. I thought I was the only person who was unhappy and that I just needed to put on my big girl pants and go to the office with a smile on my face and work my hardest, even in the jobs that I loathed. I thought that “real” jobs are what adulthood is all about and doing what you love is either a fantasy or it’s something for a select few lucky people. As I started to believe that maybe I could be one of those lucky people and that I actually deserved work that I love and happiness to boot, you all supported me. You encouraged me to stay on my path (though I still don’t really know where that path is going!) and for that, I thank you.
Then, I began to think that maybe I wasn’t so alone after all and that I wasn’t the only one in need of a little creative fulfillment in life. When Creative Play™ was just the stirrings of an idea, you all supported me again. You shared your stories with me. You told me how valuable you thought this pursuit was and encouraged me to believe that I have something to offer the world through this. I am grateful for that.
Your support and encouragement has helped me believe that happiness is possible and that I deserve to do work that brings me happiness. I am eternally grateful to you for that.
I started reading a book called “Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul” by Stuart Brown, M.D., founder of the National Institute for Play, (Who knew there was such a thing?) and Christopher Vaughan. I am completely riveted. I’m learning about all of the benefits of play for kids to develop problem solving and social skills, and for adults in preventing brain degeneration. I’m finding the topic fascinating, but of course my main interest is in the benefits of creative play. Interestingly, it was in a chapter about kids and play where I found the phrase that stopped me in my tracks.
Brown and Vaughan write, “. . . the self that emerges through play is the core, authentic self” (emphasis in the original, pg.107). “That’s it exactly!” I thought. As an adult engaged in creative play, it may not be that the authentic self is emerging, but rather re-emerging, but that’s exactly how I felt as I began to play more and get back in tune with my creativity. I finally felt right again, like I was back in my own body rather than looking at myself from the outside wondering who I had become. As I got more comfortable with my authentic self (whom I had not known in a VERY long time), the most amazing things happened. I was finding inspiration on an almost daily basis and creating art that for the first time, really spoke to me. I also began feeling joy, an unexpected but incredible benefit.
So far this week, I have shared with you why I started Creative Play™ in the first place and talked about some of the falsehoods around creativity (a.k.a. some of the reasons I was so slow to see the value of play). I hope that I now have you thinking, “Hmm. Maybe I should do something.” Today, I am going to suggest a couple of things that you can do to get started right now:
- Doodle – No matter where you are or what supplies you have on hand, doodling is something that you can do. You only need a scrap of paper and some writing implement. Take 5 minutes, turn away from your screen, and just doodle. Draw lines, draw shapes, make dots, it doesn’t matter. At the end of 5 minutes, see how you feel. A little less tense?
- Color – You may have succumbed to the adult coloring book trend and have one lying around. Even if you haven’t, coloring pages are easy to find online and print (Google Free Coloring Pages). You probably also have some crayons or markers around somewhere to use. If not, the stationery aisle of your local grocery store or pharmacy will have them.
- Make a Flip Book – Did you make flip books as a kid? You draw something on the front page of a stack of sticky notes. On the next page, you draw the same thing, but alter it slightly. You keep doing this, making small alterations to your drawing, and as you flip through the stack of pages, the images look like they are moving. Supplies needed – just a stack of sticky notes and a pen.
- Find Letters – Go for a walk with your camera phone. If it’s possible to walk outside, go out. (Fresh air does wonders.) Look for what’s called “Found Letters.” They are things or pieces of things that look like letters, but aren’t type. For example, the J in the handle of an umbrella or an A in the supports of a sign. (Google Found Letters) Look for your initials and take pictures when you find them.
- Build Something – Using supplies you have on-hand, build something. Create a chain of paperclips or twist them into sculptures. Make a pencil tower. Use colored push pins to fashion a design on your bulletin board or cubicle wall. See what can be done with the change in your pocket.
And of course, #6 Sign up for 30 Days of Creative Play™. No supplies are needed to get started so you can begin today. Use coupon code Play15 for 15% off the class fee until 12/15/17.
Please feel free to share your doodles, paper clip sculptures and other creative play on the Creative Play Date Facebook page. We love to see what you create!
I had been using this excuse myself for so long that I really had to step back and think about it. I’d just become so accustomed to it that it felt like truth. When I gave it some more thought I realized that this idea is a really common message we hear, either explicitly or implicitly, as we grow up. We live in a culture that highly values work: we don’t take our vacations; we’re afraid to be caught leaving work early; and we commonly answer the question “How are you?” with the reply, “Busy.” Play is considered something for children and part of becoming an adult is leaving those childish pursuits behind. I suspect that losing our creative confidence as we move into adulthood is part of this.
Though child’s play and adult play may take different forms and serve different purposes, it is no less important. When I started creative play, I brought some joy back into my life, my stress went down, and I also started being more playful in general, which I am sure my family appreciates. The Help Guide lists the following benefits of play:
- Relieve stress
- Improve brain function
- Stimulate the mind and boost creativity
- Improve relationships and your connection with others
- Keep you feeling young and energetic.
So the real truth is that you are never too old to play, but a surefire way to make yourself feel old is to have a life that is all work and no play. I’m tired of feeling old, aren’t you?
Believe me, I understand this one! As I wrote on Monday, I hardly took time to play as a kid. As an adult? Forget it! I didn’t allow myself time to play until all of my work was done and my work was almost never done. Finally, however, as I have gotten older and wiser, I realized that I was making the choice to work instead of play and that I could make a different choice.
Time is a funny thing. Every day, we have the same 24 hours, but some days that doesn’t feel like it’s enough time and some days, it feels like too much. How we use our time and what we define as our priorities is in our control for the most part. What was great about finally realizing that was that it also meant that I could control whether or not I had time for play and whether or not it was a priority. Once I made my own play time a priority, it became easier to find 15 minutes for myself. And, yes, sometimes those play times were stolen moments, like the 15 minutes of coloring I did one night while my daughter was in the tub. I prefer to have my play time when it’s quiet, but that hadn’t happened on that particular day so I took what I could get and still found my time relaxing and better for my blood pressure than checking Facebook.
What I also realized was that when I said to myself “I don’t have the time to play,” what I really meant was “I don’t consider myself enough of a priority in my own life to do something for myself until everyone and everything else is taken care of first.” That was a stunning realization for me. I knew I was not completely self-absorbed, but I also did not think that I was a self-negating door mat either. And really, though I won’t stand for anyone else making me a door mat, I had been doing it to myself for years without realizing it. That was something I could change too.
Hogwash! Pure and total hogwash! But, hogwash that I am familiar with. Had you asked me ten years ago if I was creative, I would probably have responded with a tentative “Yes? I guess so.” I mean, I thought I was kind of creative and I enjoyed doing creative things like scrapbooking, interior decorating, and quilting, but Art was literally my worst class in high school. My grades in Physics and Chemistry were higher and I had to call a smart friend after each chemistry experiment to ask, “What was supposed to have happened here and why?” I would adamantly have said, “I can’t draw.” So, while I enjoyed being creative, I felt that I was failing miserably in some areas that are key for creative people, like drawing.
But then, during the second phase of my creative play experiments that I described yesterday when I was the parent of a toddler, I realized that my toddler was wildly creative. She came home from day care every single day with a stack of paintings or collage art. She enjoyed mixing paint colors just to see what would happen. She painted her hands and made multiple hand print paintings because, well, why not? Watching her being fully creative, experimenting with anything and everything, without any question about her ability or whether she should try something, I realized that creativity had to be innate. We must all be born with it, I thought, because she’s way too young to have learned creativity and though I am her mother and I think she’s awesome, I also recognized that she was no different from any other kid in her class. Every parent went home with the same stack every day.
I got confirmation of the idea that creativity is innate reading Creative Confidence by Tom and David Kelley. We are all born creative, they argue, we just lose our confidence somewhere along the way to adulthood and stop believing that. As I have experimented with my own creative play, I have realized that it is a great way to get that confidence back. Sure, some of the stuff that I have created has been absolute crap, but I do have a trash can and I know how to use it. But, I have been happy with most of what I have created and I have found that doing something creative makes me feel creative. Bit by bit, one 15 minute exercise a day, my creative confidence has come back and now if you ask me if I am creative, the answer that you are going to get is “Yes!”